for the first time in a very long time, i am finally back online...and not just once every few weeks, but whenever i desire it. i am so tired at work, but it feels so good to be able to see all the things i used to view on a dailly basis. the internet is definitely not a necessity, but it is sure nice once you get attached to it. oh well...i doubt anyone cares...so i will move on.

i haven't done any art lately, but now i am going to have a lot more free time...so i will probably try to get some stuff up here any day now.

i was really close to quitting my job recently, but my new manager told me that he was going to split any bonus he got with me( because i am such an awesome employee/shift leader/co-manager in training) he can make something like 200 just for little things like us passing inspection...so i might be getting a little extra cash in my pocket soon. i should be getting a raise soon too...

i have lost contact with quite a few of my friends...and i think that i need to reconnect with them. it's just that it's really hard for me to balance my job, plus any kind of social life...i'm just too fucking tired at night to go do stuff. i really understand seeing people just crash when they get home, i mean like when you are a kid, you want to go do stuff and run around and you are just so full of life...but now i have to pay bills, i have to worry about school for my future, i have to make sure that i fulfill all my responsibilities at work and at home, i then have to come home and make my mom feel like i want to be there with her and my stepmom as a family...when all i want to do is sleep. i hate being responsible for all my actions now...growing up sucks. i don't like it, i want to give it back and then i want to go play in the rain or the sun or just do whatever i feel like because life is just too short to be spending it inside counting money or figuring projections or watching everybody that has an iq less than how old they are and having to hold their hands and walk them through the most basic of motions. yep, i really dislike it all. but i have someone to make it all better for me, and that really fucking counts...if they only knew.

alright, well i guess i am going to go...and don't dwell on responsibility too much, it will make you want to kill yourself...